The trick is simple: Do not decide in the moment. Say, "I need to sleep on it," or "I need to ask my spouse." The urgency is the weapon. If you remove the urgency, you break the spell.
This is the most obvious, yet most overlooked, principle. We are much more likely to buy a car from a friend than a stranger. Cialdini breaks down the factors that make us like someone: (we assume pretty people are smart), Similarity (we like people who dress like us, have the same hobbies), Compliments (even if we know they are false, we love them), Familiarity (the "mere exposure" effect), and Association (we like the person who brings us good news). influence the psychology of persuasion by robert cialdini
"How are you feeling today?" "Great, thanks." (Commitment to feeling good). Then, "Would you like to donate to the children's fund?" (You can't say no to a charity if you just said you feel great about life). Car salesmen use "lowballing": they give you a great price, get you to commit to buying, then "discover" the manager won't approve it. You buy anyway because your identity is now "the person who bought that car." The trick is simple: Do not decide in the moment
Let’s break down the six weapons of influence and, more importantly, how to defend yourself against them. The Rule: If you give me something, my brain forces me to want to give you something back. This is the most obvious, yet most overlooked, principle
If you are walking down a street and see five people looking up at a building, you will look up. If you are in a hotel room and the card says "75% of guests reuse their towels," you will reuse your towel. Cialdini calls this "following the herd." It is most powerful when we are (we don't know the best answer) and when the similarity is high (people just like us are doing it).
Cialdini opens with the story of the Hare Krishna society. In the 1970s, they were struggling to raise money. Then they changed their tactic. Instead of asking for donations, they started walking up to strangers in airports and handing them a flower (or a "gift" of a small book). The moment the tourist took the flower—even if they didn't want it—the Krishna would say, "This is our gift to you." Then they asked for a donation. Because the tourist felt indebted, the money poured in.