Birth Again- Japan- Pregnant- U... | Just Before The

Japan has a word for this feeling: Ma (間). It’s the space between things. The pause between the inhale and the exhale. The silence between two notes of music. Right now, my entire body is Ma .

Right now, as I type this, the baby is doing somersaults. A foot—or maybe an elbow—is dragging across my right rib. I am drinking barley tea ( mugicha ) which is supposedly cooling for the blood. I am watching the shadows grow long on the tatami mats. Just before the birth again- Japan- Pregnant- U...

I also know that my toddler will be waiting at home. He will be eating okonomiyaki with his grandmother. He will look up when I walk through the door and say, “ Okaeri ” (Welcome home) before he even looks at the baby. Japan has a word for this feeling: Ma (間)

But this time? Just before the birth again, there is no sprint. The silence between two notes of music

I remember the pain of the first birth. I remember the moment the contractions stopped being “waves” and started being a house falling on my spine. I remember the kanji on the hospital wall that I couldn’t read, and the nurse who spoke only Japanese, and the terrifying moment when I realized I had to translate my own moans.

This is the Ma . The sacred pause.