Midiculous Serial | PRO 2024 |

In a traditional thriller, a character goes to the grocery store to buy a weapon. In a Midiculous Serial, a character goes to the grocery store to buy almond milk, but the store is out of almond milk. This is not a metaphor for a larger struggle. It is the struggle. The subsequent thirty minutes of screen time will involve the protagonist calling her sister to complain about the almond milk shortage, reading a Reddit thread about oat milk substitutes, and finally, purchasing a carton of soy milk that she will later describe as “a compromise I didn’t know I was making.” The audience feels a profound, unsettling dread.

Streaming algorithms have only accelerated this trend. The data shows that viewers do not skip the “slow parts” of these shows. There are no slow parts. It is all slow part. And in that all-encompassing slowness, something strange happens: time dilates. You look up from the screen, and three hours have passed. You have watched a man return a humidifier to a big-box store. You have felt terror, pity, and catharsis. midiculous serial

Dialogue in a Midiculous Serial is an art form of negation. Characters rarely say what they mean, because they don’t know what they mean. Instead, they talk around the nothingness. Character A: “It’s fine.” Character B: “I know it’s fine. I’m just saying.” Character A: “Saying what?” Character B: (long pause) “Nothing.” Character A: “Okay.” Character B: “Okay.” This exchange, which would be a filler scene in any other show, is the climax of a Midiculous Serial. The “nothing” is a black hole. The “okay” is a treaty of surrender. 3. The Pathology of the Return The most potent weapon in the Midiculous Serial’s arsenal is the failed resolution . A character will quit their job. By the next episode, they will be back at their desk, having “worked things out” off-screen. A relationship will end. By the season finale, the two ex-lovers will be in the same coffee shop, pretending not to see each other. The cycle does not break. It only compounds . Why We Can’t Look Away The genius of the Midiculous Serial is its ruthless psychological accuracy. For most of human history, the drama of survival was external: the wolf at the door, the invader over the hill, the harvest that failed. Today, for the comfortable, secular, anxious citizen of the developed world, the wolf is internal. The threat is not death, but dissatisfaction . In a traditional thriller, a character goes to

By J. H. Vale