Nixon Coffee Table Assembly Instructions Today

It stands. Barely.

Is it sturdy? No. Is it ethical? Probably not. Does it have a dark, polished finish that hides the stains of red sauce from last night's pizza? Absolutely.

Warning: This post contains no actual political scandals, but it does contain high stakes, a few missing washers, and the potential for a very wobbly leg. nixon coffee table assembly instructions

To attach the side panel to the mainframe, you aren't supposed to use glue. You are supposed to use . You must hold the cam lock in place while whispering, "I am not a crook," until the wood grain submits.

Suddenly,

But here is the genius of the Nixon assembly method:

I recently bought a piece of furniture called the It stands

Unlike the cheerful, friendly instructions from a certain Swedish giant (you know the one—where the mascot is a moose and everything is named after a fjord), the Nixon assembly guide is aggressive, paranoid, and surprisingly sticky.