Yay! A new friend! We’ll call you Matt-Matt-Science-Pants!
See? He gets it.
I actually made a pros and cons chart. (Opens binder — it’s color-coded.) Pro: I’m good at math, so I can split the rent to the cent. Con: I’m allergic to feathers. So… pillow fights are out. sam and cat matthew
Uh, no. I’m Matthew. I’m here about the roommate ad? (Opens binder — it’s color-coded
(sighs, closes binder) I’ll get the mop for the garbage juice. Must tolerate violence
(stomps over) Let me see the fine print. (Reads from her phone) “Tough, fry-loving bad girl and perky redhead seek third roommate. Must tolerate violence, singing, and spontaneous pillow fights.” You in?
(smirks) Welcome to the bunker, Matthew. You’re in charge of garbage duty and not crying when I throw a fork at your head for fun.