She walks inside. The smudge is gone. The legend begins.

Internal monologue, MAX SPEED: Smudge. Hostile. Source: canine. Target: glass. Response: IMMEDIATE SANITIZATION. But—no. Strategy. The dog is a weapon. The neighbor, KAREN (50s, wine-mom energy), is the arm. Karen lets Reginald roam because she “likes his free spirit.” Cindy has filed 14 HOA complaints. All ignored.

And on the fridge, a sticky note in Cindy’s handwriting: “Smudge happens. — The Housewife” Karen’s phone buzzes. HOA notification: “Anonymous tip: off-leash dog sighted. Fine: $500.”

Reginald, now a chaos agent, rolls on the rug. The red streaks multiply. He thinks it’s ketchup. He loves ketchup.

* TITLE CARD: THE HOUSEWIFE WILL RETURN IN: “DIRTY LAUNDRY” *

It’s REGINALD (Golden Retriever, neighbor’s dog, brain made of popcorn). Reginald holds something in his mouth. Something dark. Something spreading .

Reginald wags his tail. He launches .

Cindy stands at the property line. She holds a freshly steamed curtain, pristine white. Reginald, on the other side, drops a single, dry leaf at her feet.